My house is chaos defined.

On top of having at least two children displaying H1N1 symptoms at any given time, we have also undertaken a fairly large remodel and basement finishing project. When I say "We have undertaken" I mean "we have hired someone who actually knows what the hell they're doing," but that's not the point.

The point is that my hardwood floor is covered in some sort of ugly puke-maroon-brown paper and taped down with blue painters tape. And we are always walking across it and tearing it. So we patch it with more painters tape. And its not looking funky, cool, or better over time, folks, it looks nasty. I can sweep five times in one day and between contractors and kids my floors are not even close to clean. Normally I let my kids eat off the floor but now - now - not a chance.

Last January I invited made my friends come over and help me paint my living room and kitchen. Now, after removing a few walls, my living room walls have been re-textured and a window has been covered over with sheetrock. My paint job looks like crap. It all needs re-done.

To make matters worse, the wall that used to hide the stairs to the basement was cut out, leaving an 8.5 foot drop off in my living room. We are going to put a bannister/railing/thingamabob in there, and its gonna look amazing, but for now we have a drop-off.

My kids pretend they're in Finding Nemo and going to the "drop-off" and I'm like Nemo's dad who is constantly freaked out. Even Beckham, now almost 20 months old, approaches with caution. They grasp that it is dangerous yet, sometimes in the excitement of the moment, they tear around through the kitchen and run past the drop without thinking. My heart stops for just a second and then I remember that I'm not one to worry and let it go.

Construction sucks. It is dirty, messy, LOUD, and almost always disrupts the daily routine. We have had to nap in other places, eat "picnics" on our bedroom floor, and wear our coats in the house when doors and windows have been taken out for replacement.

Construction is a process. It doesn't happen in a day and it doesn't happen overnight. There are "phases" to this project - well laid out plans that my husband and our amazing contractor new friend Wes have decided on and are executing over the days and weeks to come. Every day something new is completed and something new is begun.

Construction is a lot like my Christianity. I am realizing, at this shaky, dirty, LOUD, disruptive time in my life/career/walk with the Lord/friendships/church/ideology/beliefs that God is merely in the process of creating in me something I did not know or expect. Often what we INTEND to see come about is far from the final project God sees in us. While I have recently walked away from a place I LOVED and LONGED to be a part of, I have realized that God was simply calling me back to a truer and more pure understanding of who He called me to be - with or without titles or backing. And though this is all dirty and disruptive, I know that He who has called me to this renovation will be faithful to see me through.

Something new has been completed in me today. And something new has begun. I'll sweep up the floor (not for the first time today....) and marvel at where I am from where I started. And I'll revel in the idea that we are being constructed into something He intends us to be.

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