I cheated.

Confession time first. I brewed coffee. I realized that, with my husband gone for the next few days and me single-mommin' it full-time, I'd need at least caffeine to keep me from biting the heads off my small children.

And my day began.

It's funny how, when you've committed yourself to something you believe in, you see meaning in almost everything. This morning as I groggily stared out my kitchen window, preparing breakfast for my kids, I thought about how serene my backyard looks - covered in small kids' toys, snow, three deer gracefully walking through and no death and destruction. No collapsed buildings. No blood. Just signs of life and abundant life. I am blessed.

I took a shower in clean water. I know they don't have enough in Haiti. And I'm thankful Scott Harrison and Charity.Water had already gotten their foot in the door in Haiti before the earthquake. I'm hopeful they'll be able to keep moving forward - that wells will be dug and clean water is on its way. I probably used 30 gallons of water during my shower. And I feel gulity for that.

My kids are eating cereal for breakfast. If I was eating, it'd be oatmeal. Its inexpensive but goes towards my donation nonetheless: $1.00 for Tuesday breakfast headed on its way to Haiti.($1.00 total)

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I had to drive my husband to work today. He'd left his car downtown last night when we met for my birthday dinner. I admit, last night I ate way too much. I think I was subconciously hoping that the food I overate would keep me feeling full for three days. It has not. My stomach is already rumbling. 

As I drove home I passed Starbucks. Though I wasn't tempted to stop I realized that typically, on a 35 degree overcast day I'd be craving a Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte. So here's $4.55 towards Haiti instead of Starbucks. ($5.55 total)

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MW Y MW Day One - Lunch

Lunch wasn't hard to skip. I don't eat it often. Normally I have an apple or something while my kids eat, then I have another salad or something around 3pm before I go to the gym. Today though, as I watched my kids balk at eating their lunchmeat sandwiches I wondered what it would be like to watch my children starve in front of me. I cannot imagine the anguish that a parent must feel watching their child in need.

My kids' lunch of meat sandwiches, cheeze-its, and apples was valued at around $2.00 per plate. I'm up to ($7.55 total)

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MW Y MW Day One - Dinner

My kids and husband ate leftover Chicken Cacciatorie for dinner. A favorite of mine. After running a brisk four miles at the gym and playing 20 minutes of basketball with my oldest son I am hungry, but I'm fine.

Dinner, with salad, dressing, milk etc. would have been about $3.50. ($11.05 total)

Now if I'm honest I'd account for the dessert I'd probably eat ($1.00) and the drink I'd probably have before bed ($1.00). Today's total is $13.05 and I'm learning a lot about what my brain thinks about food and how to redirect my thoughts.

While running I watched a woman be pulled out of the rubble a week after the earthquake - alive. She was in shock, yet beautiful. Someone's mother, grandmother, friend. And someone who is obviously strong and resilient. Who must have had a great deal of hope. Hence, we keep going.

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The pictures from Haiti send waves of sadness over my soul. I cannot imagine the desperation, the fear and the unknown. There is nothing within me that can relate to the devestation.

But my heart longs to empathize. And my desire is to help.

Everyone is talking, tweeting and texting about donating to various organizations. And I wonder how many more weeks or days or minutes we will remember this for. How long before Haiti becomes just another desolate island that we forget in our daily routine. Perhaps we'll remember, briefly, when our cell bill arrives and we realize we texted $10 to the Red Cross or $5 to Yele. Or, before we pay the bill, because times are tight we'll call and cancel the donation. Maybe we can't afford to be generous. Maybe we think someone else will.

 I don't want to forget. Partly because I know its my nature and partly because the people I have known from Haiti were some of the warmest, most genuine God-fearing people I had ever met. Partly because as a young girl my soul was stirred with desire to see change sweep the tiny nation - to see children fed and hearts healed. And now, as I survey the damage via internet and tv, as I catch glimpses of the destruction through interviews and tears, now I must act.

To make it real, I'm asking you to join with me for three days in what I've termed "Money Where My Mouth Was." For three days I've decided to fast. I'll calculate the cost of the food I would have eaten. And I'll feel the hunger that Haiti feels, in a small part. And that money saved will be my donation.

For three days I'll watch what my family eats and figure out the per-portion price that I would have eaten. And for three days my stomach will growl but maybe I'll feel a bit of the pain. And I will act on my desire to make a difference. 

If you want to join me, or spread the word, please do so. And if you want to post this button, feel free to grab it!( http://tiny.cc/Bg3Ce )

Lets put our money where our mouths were. We can afford this. We can afford to feel and to help.

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On our walk today, my three-year-old said some of the darndest things.

"When you go to sleep at night little God-aliens come and fly around your head and give you good dreams. They are small so you cannot see them, like dust, and they do not pick you up or hit you on the head. But they give you good dreams because they are like God's little helper aliens."

Of course.

"For my birthday party we are going to play a game where all of the kids get to hold kid matches (?) and throw them at balloons. So the kid-match has a little button on it and when you push the button it starts to burn a little tiny fire that is not dangerous and when you throw it at the balloon then the balloon pops and whoever pops the most balloons will win."

"Wow Roman, that sounds like a very challenging game."

"Yeah. Christian is not invited though. Because he would win."

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