I thought I was cut out to be the mother of all boys. It was my destiny - in my blood. "I'd have it no other way."

Then my two-year-old walked into the kitchen carrying a dead snake.

It went down something like this.

- Mama - look! My two-year-old is dangling a skinny dead gardner snake by its head ... or is it the tail? This is not a snake skin. This is a sad, dead, snakey that has reached its prime crunchiness.

- AHHHHHHH! I jump back in surprise. Hanging up my phone call with my sister, I dance precariously around the outstretched snake carcass.

- AHHHHHHH! My son reacts to my reaction and flings the snake across the kitchen floor. It bounces against the oven door and falls to the floor with a crunch.

- AHHHHHHH! My oldest son, who had walked in with my middle son, reacts to my middle-sons reaction and screams loudly while jumping up and down.

- WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH! Both sons begin crying hysterically, in fear of their reaction to my reaction and my crazed dancing which persists, in the corner, while the dead snake lies in the floor.

I realize I've created chaos.

I realize I've overreacted.

I begin backpedaling quickly.

"No, no guys! It's cool! Yeah! It's really cool to bring snakes inside. Wow! I'm so happy you found this. It is such a great treasure! Daddy's gonna love this!"

My kids begin to settle down, rub their eyes, and stare at the snake on the floor.

"Now, who wants to pick it up and carry it outside?" I question. I really hope I'm not a nominee.

"You can do it." My oldest son declares to my 2 year old.

And so he does.

Snakey gets carried outside and placed in the most-logical and most-hygenic of all resting places - the tray next to the grill. Daddy gets duly surprised (though he'd been warned) when he comes home. Our contractor (who is finishing our basement) gets especially surprised when he shows up in the morning ("having some snake for dinner?" he quipped... I'm still not sure if he was joking...)

And, everytime I've walked past snakey since then, I've wondered at my "calling" to motherhood of all sons. I've questioned my sanity, my readiness, and if I (or God) may have misunderstood.

At least I should get some credit for that smooth backpedaling - right?

Comments (1)

	1. 20-05-2008 05:11
	natalie,  that story rocks!! i say take pics of dead snake in the midst of 3 precious (preferably filthy) boys and make it a christmas card. miss you tons! love, me http://www.patandkatiesutherland.blogspot.com Registered Report

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