I always get comments when I'm out in public. "Wow, you have the patience of a saint!" or "You're just so patient and sweet with your kids! I'd be screaming by now."

Dear sweet ladies out in public, I am scamming you.

I'm brilliant at being sweet in public. I talk in a quiet voice (stern but fair) and look into my children's beautiful eyes while I correct them. In low tones, so as not to embarrass them, I remind them of what proper behavior looks like.

And then we get home.

At home I overreact. Daily. I scream. I yell. I've stomped my foot and I've slammed my hand down on the table hard enough it shook. Somtimes I send them all to their rooms and go into my own, slamming the door behind me and collapsing on my bed just hoping for five seconds of silence.

I ignore them when they're explaining things to me. I rush them when they are forming opinions. I correct them when they interrupt. I tell them to "just GO PLAY!" at least five times every day.

I am a miserable failure of a mother at home. But I look damn good in public.

If we put half the effort into our behavior at home as we do when people are watching - what would change?

And may my heart be melted by little faces, even when they talk a lot. May my attitude be impacted by their desire to understand and experience everything, even when it is always within five feet of me. And may I realize the ways that I can change now to impact them for the future. Even when we're at home.

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