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Written by natalie
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Thursday, 21 January 2010 |
Tonight I am crawling into an empty bed, rolling under my vacant covers and wishing you were here. I am no longer accustomed to sleeping alone. For over seven years your heart has beat next to mine. Seven years. The blink of an eye. And here we are.
It isn’t my bed anymore. This isn’t my house. This isn’t even my life anymore. It has all become ours. The way we weave between the layers, your hands, my heart, your drive, my passion, everything that is you and everything that is me has begun to work in rhythm. This, I think, is the passionate unity that marriage was designed to be. I am thankful for ours. I am thankful for you.
Long days with laughing sons lends little time for lengthy conversations and yet, somehow we find the moments to express what needs to be said. I like that we can exist in silence just as well as we can in discourse. I like that we laugh together, about the serious when we are sad and about the silly. We can stay up way too late watching lame reality shows because its ours. This is ours.
I’m happy you’re gone tonight. Glad that you’re with your father, a man I love and who loves you. I’m proud of the ways you are like him - strong, strategic, ambitious, self-made. I am proud of the ways you are not like him at all - you have risen above your upbringing and are raising sons that will proudly bear your name. But I am happy you are gone tonight because it forces me to look at my life, at our life. And it reminds me, because I am prone to forget these ever so important facts, how much I love what we have.
Tonight I am crawling into an empty bed. Tonight I have a full heart.
Sweet dreams, Love. May all my dreams, and all your dreams, be ours.
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